The Last Marauder
by Malenky-Devil
Summary: Sirius and Remus as they spend their days at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place; told through the eyes of our beloved werewolf. WARNING. Many spoilers for those who have not read The Order of the Phoenix. MoonyPadfoot slash.


The Last Marauder  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor have I created, any of the characters in the Harry Potter series. They all belong and came from the mind of J.K. Rowling and her respective others. In short, do not sue me, I am poor.  
  
This fic contains male/male slash. If you are uncomfortable with that, please move along to elsewhere. Otherwise, enjoy!  
  
"Parabol" was written and recorded (and is owned by) the members of the band Tool.  
  
"So familiar and overwhelmingly warm  
  
This one, this form I hold now.  
  
Embracing you, this reality here;  
  
This one, this form I hold now.  
  
So wide eyed and hopeful…  
  
Wide eyed and hopefully wild…  
  
We barely remember what came before this precious moment  
  
We are choosing to be here, right now  
  
…Hold on…stay inside...  
  
This body, holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in  
  
This body makes me feel eternal  
  
…All this pain is an illusion…"  
  
Parabol  
  
--Tool  
  
Chapter One: A night alone in Grimmauld Place  
  
He flashed glances at me from beyond the table; dark eyes attentive with each look…he thought he was being sneaky…he always did. The flames from the fire behind me caused the shadows to dance on his sleek long hair and play on his handsome face…and once again I found myself drawn, as I was always prone to. You can never help it with Sirius, his entire body craved attention, even when he was not blatantly seeking it.  
  
I shifted my parchments for the fifth time in the last several minutes, moving once more to another random page…I had ceased to pay attention long ago. It was as I had always done; stare blankly at the page whilst my mind was elsewhere…that elsewhere was obviously Sirius.  
  
"Lost in thought again, Moony?" he drawled tiredly from his end.  
  
"Hm?" I replied; my attention caught rather easily.  
  
"You've been looking at the same papers for hours, my dear Moony. There are only so many ways to shuffle them."  
  
"Heh," I chuckled lightly and placed the papers down in front of me; smoothing them out as to keep myself occupied once more.  
  
He sighed exasperatedly and rested his chin on the table, glancing up once more to see if I had noticed. Apparently, he did not think I did. This time, he let another, louder, sigh escape his lips as he drummed his fingers on the table before him; meanwhile bouncing his leg up and down and groaning.  
  
"Problem, Sirius?" I asked with a raised eyebrow; finally deciding to satiate his desperate need for attention.  
  
"Bored…" he sighed again, cupping his chin in his hands.  
  
"You've been antsy for days, Sirius, but I am sorry, you cannot go outside. You know what happened last time you did."  
  
"And what are the odds that I'll run into Malfoy again? Come on, Remus, I've been locked up for so long. It is almost as though I have been moved from one prison to another."  
  
"I have to respect the wishes of Dumbledore…and keep in mind your safety…the last thing I want to do is loose you again." I whispered the last line beneath my breath.  
  
Not a sound came from him.  
  
I looked up from my rather dull musings. Sirius was almost never silent unless something concerned him.  
  
"Sirius?"   
  
"That won't happen again, Remus. How many times must I assure you? Twelve years was hell without you. Do you dare think that the thought of more years passing between us does not pain me?"  
  
I cleared my throat nervously, taking a sip from the now cold tea that I had made earlier.  
  
"I'm just so terribly bored. Cabin fever set in years ago. Being cooped up inside drives me mad. Wouldn't you feel the same?"  
  
"I know what it is like to have to lock yourself up. Though I know your years in Azkaban make my experiences pale in comparison. I do feel for you, Sirius, but I cannot let you go. I promised."  
  
"Who says I need your permission?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I could walk right out of here if I wanted to, you know I could. I was the one who strolled out of Azkaban."  
  
"And you may as well stroll back in if you go out there. Besides, if you have so much free will, why have you not simply walked out? What is stopping you?"  
  
He seemed at a loss for words, as though his trump card was not full poof.  
  
"Harry," I stated, "That and the fact that you have too much respect for Dumbledore to disobey him."  
  
Sirius laid his head on the table in acceptance.  
  
"Moony, you know me too well."  
  
"Of course I do. But believe me; I do understand your dismay at having to be inside all day. How long has it been since you have breathed the fresh air?"  
  
"Too long. The air in here is stale. I hate it." He grumbled; it pained me to see him so upset, "I just wish that there was something I could do. I feel as though I contribute nothing to the Order. I just sit here…and rot; much like Azkaban but with much more comfortable chairs."  
  
"Staying here is probably the best thing you can do for the Order as well as for Harry. It is not like we go out everyday on secret missions. Much of the time it is rather tedious. I know you; you would not have the patience."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"Sirius. Just stay here. It cannot hurt you. You contributed your family home, what more could you have done other than give us a place to reside?"  
  
He seemed so dejected now. His shoulders sank as he ran his index finger along the rim of his goblet.  
  
"Remus, if only you knew how it feels to do nothing. I always think that there is more I can do. Something significant; something that could further our cause. I feel impotent. Useless. And by staying here, I do no good."  
  
"How can you say that, Sirius? You don't think that you have done more for Harry over these last few years than many others have even tried to? He loves you, Sirius. If anything happened to you he would be crushed. By staying here and keeping safe you are contributing much more than you think. You are one less thing Harry has to worry about. Lord knows he's become a little ball of angst over these past few months."  
  
For once, he let out a small chuckle, "That God son of mine has got enough stress around him without having to worry about me, I suppose. As much as I hate it. You're probably right. You always are."  
  
I smiled softly for I knew that inside he was still debating on whether or not to run outside and do whatever he wished to do at the moment. Ever so full of ubiquitous and unlimited amounts of energy no matter how calmed he seemed to be at the time.  
  
And yet still, even in the dim firelight, his eyes seemed contemplative and almost distressed, as though the thought still bothered him, as I knew it had. I rose from my seat across the table and walked over to him, draping my arms around his shoulders from behind.  
  
"Do not fret, Padfoot," I whispered in his ear, "Do not look at me with those tiresome eyes anymore. I'm here…I'm here…"  
  
He sighed and placed his hand on mine, running his thumb along the back of my hand.   
  
"Moony, it has been so long…Years in isolation has given me a craving for comfort that I never knew I could have. You have no fathomable idea of what it was like in there. Coldness…despair…Twelve years I waited until the day I could once again be amongst the people I loved. I'm happy, Remus, I truly am."  
  
He ran his cheek along my hand, he had shaven a while ago and the smoothness of his skin surprised me…I was so used to stubble that I almost laughed in surprise.   
  
"And now it has been two years, Remus. Two. And for once I can remember what it was like to actually sit around a table for Christmas and hear people laughing. To believe that for once, things would be okay. They will be…right?"  
  
"What?" I asked, surprised at the doubt in his voice, "What do you mean, Sirius?"  
  
He was quiet once more for what seemed like ages.  
  
"Never mind," he mumbled, "I don't want to think about that anymore."  
  
"Think about what?"  
  
"Nothing…" his voice went gruff again; I knew at once that something was once again troubling his mind as he stood up, "I think it is about time to feed Buckbeak again, no?" he kissed my forehead as he headed towards the stairs, "I'll see you in a while, Moony."  
  
Later on that night, I returned to my room in Grimmauld Place but did not sleep. I sat on the edge of my bed going through a few of my old things. I sighed and opened a small box I had sitting on my bedside table. It was filled with old pictures, pieces of memorabilia -- some dating even back to the days of our time at Hogwarts -- long ago memories of things that have changed so much.   
  
I remember things so vividly from those times. Times where we had not a care in the world…times when things were much simpler.  
  
"It all seemed so easy back then, didn't it, Remus?" came a voice from behind me.  
  
I turned around to find Sirius' thin form in the threshold of my room. He leaned against the wooden frame, eyes seeming to be fixated on some distant inner thought, "Never would we have believed what would come in the years after."  
  
"No," I replied, "We were young, we were naïve. It just all seems so far away. It is like I was someone else all those years."  
  
"I know," he sighed, "Believe me, twelve years in that damned prison makes things seem so much different."  
  
"I can only imagine."  
  
"Remus," he stated; crossing the room and sitting beside me, "I never want the images that I beheld all those years to be yours as well. Never try to fathom what it was like, for I know you will only manage to scratch the surface."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
He reached over my lap and plucked a picture from our sixth year. He and I underneath the beech tree by the lake; James taking a large leap into the water in the background…Peter cheering reverently.  
  
"You kept this all these years?"  
  
I nodded, "You were my only friends…the only ones who ever understood…the only ones who were never afraid of me."  
  
"I remember. How young we all look there, time can change so much. It can suck the carelessness of youth right out of you without mercy. To think that, only a few years later, Lilly and James were married. She who despised him though six years of school," he returned the picture to its place in the box, "But none of us would have ever believed that within a few years they would be gone."  
  
"Fate has not been kind, Sirius. You and I can attest to that."  
  
"The last of the Marauders," he yawned as he lay back on the mattress, "Padfoot and Moony…"  
  
I chuckled lightly, though mirthlessly, and closed the small box, "It seems like ages."  
  
Fingers made their way down the back of my neck unexpectedly, sending a chill down my spine as Sirius rose to sit beside me. His lips followed the trail he had made with his hands as he pulled back the stray bits of hair that still remained at the base of my shoulders.  
  
"Sirius…" I whispered as his slightly calloused hand cupped my jaw from behind. I still felt the warmth of his breath behind me as he pulled the shoulder of my shirt down to make way for his eager lips to travel. He seemed to do this all with such ease, though I knew that I had no other choice --- no other want --- than to completely submit to him. The hand that had held my jaw so lightly maneuvered down to the buttons of my shirt whilst he softly kissed me behind my ear.   
  
A gentle pressure on my chest willed me to recline on the soft bed on which we both sat. His movements were so subtle and graceful that it gave the illusion that he and I were almost floating as he sat above me; now using both hands to undo the buttons which he claimed an obstacle to what he knew he wanted. I gazed up at the dark ceiling, feeling his lips travel down the now exposed flesh of my chest until he reached my navel. I let out another gasp of his name before I saw his dark eyes before my own.  
  
A smirk played along the corner of the mouth that had began to tempt me; his eyes glittered with the mischievous light I knew all too well…and all the while I was unable to say anything except the mantra that had been his name. He bit his lower lip anxiously, seemingly taking pleasure in the fact that he now had me right where he wanted, and leaned in; his lips hovering above mine as a husky whisper escaped him…  
  
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good"  
  
[Author's note: I've begun on the second chapter, so expect it to be up within a few days. In the meantime, reviews on this chapter are more than welcome! ^_^] 


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